I only ever meant to do it for a month.
I worried it would be a faff.
Then I had a glorious realisation: lots of beer is vegan – gin is vegan and crisps are vegan.
What else do I need?
I’ll have a handful of blueberries and some red kidneys beans if you insist.
A quick nutrition cram on the internet and it was a cinch.
The month is now three months and I’m full of energy but the best thing?
I can lord it over vegetarians.
All my life I’ve suffered their smugness.
In my university days they were superior with their ‘Meat is Murder’ posters aggressively stuck to the fridge and their ‘Please DON’T put your ham on top shelf – I don’t like DEAD THINGS near my food’ notes.
Oh how bitter I was about those veggies with their nut roasts and their endless pursuit of cheese.
But who’s laughing now veggies?
You butter-munching – brie-bothering – egg-cracking part-timers.
If you are a vegetarian who is offended by these words – relax.
I am kidding.
Just like you are kidding yourselves that your diet does not harm animals (please note, I am still kidding).
Becoming vegan isn’t just about food.
It’s a movement – one that I’ve joined – and like all movements there are disagreements within because none of us are exactly the same – and some of us are insufferable hectoring hummus warriors.