It starts with the expectation that permission for the engagement will be sought from the bride’s father.
It astounds me that people still actually do this and think it’s OK.
It’s completely pointless for one thing – have many marriages actually been stopped after a parent said no? – and for another – adhering to this symbolic gesture is not in any way helpful to the equality cause.
It’s a strange infantilising way to embark on what most people see as a mature step firmly into the world of grown-ups and it makes no sense.
Then there’s the case of giving the bride away.
The problem is right there – in four little words.
Can a person be given away like a bag of old clothes or a box of books?
No they cannot.
So why is this the most abiding part of the ceremony?
For me this has been the biggest problem.
As someone who has grown up in the belief that I’m equal to anyone of the opposite sex and conduct my relationships as such – the idea of my father giving me away to my husband-to-be just doesn’t sit right.
Luckily my dad feels the same way so he doesn’t expect to walk me down the aisle at my wedding.
Other people find this somewhat remarkable.