There’s a real rawness to Connie’s anger and grief as she transports herself back to Gloriavale and what her father inflicted on his children.
Her tears flow mostly not for what happened to her but for the violence dispensed to her sister Prayer.
She quietly berates herself – asking ‘Why’d I do nothing?’
She knows the answer is because the violence was so normalised – so routine.
But it doesn’t help.
‘Seeing my baby sister dragged out from the meal table where everybody is – to the room next door and I can hear her screaming and I’m just sitting there…
‘You can toughen yourself – you can build walls around yourself to protect you from the hurt but every single one of them break down when you watch someone as defenceless as her and you can’t do anything about it.”
Asked how many beatings she thinks Prayer would have had at the hands of their father – her face is stony.
Just because that’s how we were all raised.
That’s what we all went through’.