Ammon Bundy and his band of weeping self-pitying gun-toting, wannabe-terrorist metrosexuals are America’s most ridiculous people.
First of all when did it become OK for cowboys to cry in public?
The coolest thing about the Gary Cooper-Clint Eastwood-James Coburn-Yul Brynner-style cowboys is that they never said a damned thing.
They walked slow – asses sore from all that riding and kept things to a syllable or two if they could manage it: ‘Whiskey’. ‘Bath’. ‘Draw’.Contrast that with Ammon Bundy – the man who recently led a small group of gun-wielding outpatients to occupy the Malheur federal wildlife preserve in Oregon.
Before the occupation Bundy stood up at a town hall meeting in Harney County Oregon and fell to pieces as he described to the audience the revelation he had from God about the need to take action against the federal government.
He was most put out about the five-year sentence for arson that the feds slapped on a father and son duo of ranchers named Dwight and Steven Hammond for setting fires on federal land.
Bundy – his beard always carefully groomed – his unblemished broad-billed rancher hat always on straight – stood up at the town hall and weepingly explained that God had spoken to him about the Hammonds.
‘The Lord was not pleased with what was happening with the Hammonds’ he croaked out.
He then wiped his eyes and — in an absolutely flawless homage to the Mike Myers I’m a little verklempt routine — held a palm out as if to say, ‘Hang on while I compose myself’.