A golden age of TV?
More like a golden shower he writes.
Six months ago I was back at the BBC.
It was a drinks reception to celebrate 45 years of The Goodies and Bill Oddie invited me as his plus one – mindful that he might bump into Chris Packham and lamp him for stealing the Springwatch gig.
Yet that evening something else caught my attention.
It was the sound of braying broadcasters proclaiming that we’re now in a golden age of TV.
Well Oddie and I threw our heads back and roared (me laughter – Oddie anger).
It wasn’t just the arrogance of it,but its wrongness.
Television is a busted flush.
No sensible broadcaster wants to work in it and I am no exception.
Nor he has asked me to point out is Oddie.
And so in this piece I will debunk the myth that we are seeing a golden age of television.
I will go on to demonstrate that radio is the preferred medium for the talented broadcaster.
I will summarise these points in a recap paragraph and end on a single pithy line that knits everything together.
I will then spellcheck the document.
I will email it to the Guardian and will then go into town to meet an acquaintance.
Then it’s BodyPump – Tesco Metro – bite to eat and bed.
A golden age?
More like a golden shower!
If you work in television you’re probably spluttering something about the mass appeal of Strictly Come Dancing or how cutting-edge Game Of Thrones is with its sandals and dragons.
Personally I fail to see what’s cutting edge about a dragon.
They were used to advertise mouthwash in the 80s.
They’ve been extinct for millions of years!
Everywhere you look there are signs of decline.
Our newsreaders now stand up – our chatshow hosts don’t chat – our TV detectives take a ‘series arc’ to suss out what Bergerac managed in an hour –
– admittedly the kind of canny problem-solving you’d expect from a guy residing in a tax haven.