At last someone has described the weird and infuriating new fashion in young women’s speech that has been driving me nuts – calling it ‘creaky voice’.
Now I know I’m not alone in my deep aversion to this odd development.
I’ve tried unsuccessfully to imitate it but I’m too old and besides I’m not the type.
It goes with women under the age of 35 and over 14 who seem often to wear hairclips and floral things.
It has a teensy-weensy-girly-sing-song lilt as if the young woman is talking to an intellectually challenged toddler but yet a creak to it because it’s hard on the vocal chords and is produced with enormous effort – or so it seems.
It says ‘I am a cute little person who hasn’t grown up yet so please don’t be mean to me or I’ll cry’.
In some circumstances it would provoke violence.
I have tried to analyse why anyone would want to talk like this and concluded that it’s a new version of baby talk where you say wubbleyous instead of rs and ls.
This comes in and out of fashion.
The Duke and Duchess of Windsor were dab hands at it in the 1930s – their private letters are gag-inducing.
You give your boyfriend a baby name it goes and he gives you one and then you talk baby talk and in the case of the duchess are rewarded with stunning jewellery and a title.
In more ordinary cases some men must respond favourably which is frankly sinister – baby talking and the erotic are a nauseous coupling from hell.
I used to think creaky voice was specially directed at older women on the basis that our brains must have gone soft and jelly-like – we have regressed to infancy and it’s sheer luck that we’re driving cars and have bank accounts.
That was irritating enough.
It is hard to be patronised by creaky voices when you’re in hospital say or trying on shoes – when wee wickle voices pwetending to be vewwy helpful are asking to be either snapped at or ignored.
But it’s a more general thing I realise – a position some young women take in the world – maybe taking cover in response to the general viciousness of youth.
Every generation thinks the next is horrible.
That’s been so for as long as time.